Compensation Aside

Daniel: i need to rewatch more of the hills
i LOVED the hills
“those were vaginas i trusted”
me:  put that shit on a DVD box
me:  I rewatched Season 1 about a year ago
Daniel: i did too
but s1 doesnt have the best moments
“THEY’RE TAKING SHOTS? THEY’RE TAKING SHOTS?”
and
LC’s mascara tears
me:  also, Brody Jenner
just in his entirety
Daniel: yeah whatta fox sry
I KNOW, I KNOW
me:  SRY
Daniel:  BYE
me:  I watched all of “bromance” BYE
Daniel:  HAHAHHAHA
“you’ll always be the girl who didn’t go to paris.”
me:  what was her name?
Lisa Love?
Daniel:  lisa love
yes
me:  AAAHHHH
I loved that bitch
not as much as Kelly
but a lot
Also, I have legit love for Stephanie Pratt
Daniel:  yeah
f’real
me: also, I somehow feel like the collected force of my wanting it brought Lo back into Lauren’s life.
Daniel:  I WAS ABOUT TO SAY
lo was the best one
i spent two years of college telling people “I’mgladwetalked.” and walking away
me:  The episode where she coined “Justin Bobby”
Daniel:  YES
me:  “Hills” Power Rankings:
1) Lo
Daniel:  yerp
me:  2) Kelly Cutrone
Daniel:  not disagreeing yet
me:  3) Brody Jenner’s Ass Crack
Daniel:  HAHA
4) Lisa Love
me:  5) Stephanie
Daniel:  ok but lc has to be PRETTY CLOSE after stephanie
me:  6) lauren
7) That one time Stephen came to L.A. and it was sad
Daniel:  :(
me:  8) heidi (FINE)
Daniel: umm
darlene egmont
above heidi
me:  Elodie
above heidi
Daniel:  elodie was a total bore until she finally went off on (i think) heidi
me:  omg Whitney!
So forgotten.
Daniel: she had her own SPINOFF
which lasted two seasons!!
me:  Good for her.
That was always my reaction to Whitney.
“Good for her! She got a promotion!”
“Good for her! She got back up and kept modelling!”
Daniel:  in hilary swank’s dress.
me:  YES
this might end up on Tumblr
sorry
Daniel:  oh good no im thrilled
me:  Last) Audrina
Second Last) Justin Bobby
Third Last) People Who Thought Justin Bobby Was Hot
Daniel:  HAHAHAHA
fourth last) brent bolthouse
me:  HAHAHA
9) Kristin when she first came back
“Kristin At The Wedding”
Daniel:  I ALMOST SAID THAT
her season was totally derailed by an OBVIOUSLY fake “should kristin go to rehab” plotline
but that little wave
me:  She crested at the Justin Bobby hookup
those wordless conversations
10) Heidi’s s1 boyfriend
Daniel: OH YEAH
11) brody’s girlfriend who was in playboy: something like nanci grayce
but not that
jaydra phae
me:  YES
what was it???
Daniel:  was it
(pondering)
jayde nicole
me:  I think it was Jayde
12) Brody’s mom
fifth last) Heidi’s sister (who I will just call “Hoedi”)
Daniel:  YEP
who i forgot replaced heidi on “i’m a celebrity”
me:  ewww
Daniel:  13) the trainer whitney dates
me:  How about when they made Lo hang out with Audrina after Lauren left?
Daniel:  YEAH hahahahaha
“all the girls”
me:  14) Ryan Cabrera
Daniel:  HAHAHA
15) Lady Gaga
(look it up sips tea)
me:  16) That Teen Vogue employee who was Whitney’s nemesis
Daniel:  OH
the perfect intern
emily
superintern
me:  YES
there’s no way The Awl would accept this listicle